The idea that freedom is partly the ability to let people dislike you without immediately making it our job to change their minds? Whew. I love it!
I think so many of us have spent years monitoring how we’re landing with everyone else instead of asking whether we’re actually being honest with ourselves. What an exhausting full-time job. 😂
And yes…perhaps being “full of ourselves” isn’t such a terrible thing after all. Full of ideas, opinions, quirks, passion, love, mistakes, wisdom, and LIFE? I’ll take that ANY day. ❤️
Deane, your move from monitoring how we land to asking whether we are honest with ourselves shifts the center of authority back where Annie is placing it. When other people’s reactions become the measure, self-editing can quietly become a way of life; honesty gives the fuller self room to speak again. I love how you carried her reclamation forward too, filling “full of ourselves” with ideas, quirks, passion, wisdom, and life. Grateful for the way you extended Annie’s freedom into a question of whose approval gets to govern how fully we show up.
Love the rawness of this piece Annie! My fav lines "BUT then it dawned on me: someone thinking I’m too much may have absolutely NOTHING to do with me." A big hell yes to that!! It's so empowering when you flip the script and look at it from a different perspective. 99% of the time someone's response is has more to do with them than it does about you, but making it about you enables them to not look at themselves.
Cherie, your point about making someone else’s reaction about ourselves adds an important consequence to Annie’s reflection: self-blame can quietly absorb accountability that belongs elsewhere. When we rush to edit ourselves around another person’s discomfort, they may never have to examine the expectations, fears, or assumptions shaping their response. That makes Annie’s freedom especially consequential; she is reclaiming the right to let other people carry their own interior work. Grateful for the way you extended her insight from self-acceptance into the responsibility each person has for examining their own reactions.
Thank you @Rev. Kevin T. Taylor I think that’s the part we often miss, when we take responsibility for someone else’s reaction, we can unintentionally let them off the hook. There’s something very freeing about knowing what is yours to carry and what absolutely isn’t.
Cherie, that boundary of responsibility is where Annie’s reflection becomes especially freeing. Knowing which reactions belong to us and which belong to the other person allows self-examination without turning every discomfort into an instruction to shrink. Your response gives Annie’s piece a practical consequence: clarity about what we carry protects both accountability and self-respect. Grateful for the way you named the freedom inside that separation.
Annie, “I was short of permission” gives this reflection its deepest charge. The exhausting part was the constant negotiation with other people’s comfort, especially when their reactions became something you felt responsible for managing. Reclaiming “full of myself” then becomes beautifully literal: full of opinions, desire, humour, lessons, ambition, and a self you are finally willing to occupy completely. Grateful for the clarity and fire you brought to the freedom of having your own back.
That's got real energy to it — the reframe of "full of myself" from insult to fact is a satisfying turn, especially landing on "full of things I want to do and see, mistakes I've survived, wisdom I've collected." The insight that it was never a confidence problem but a permission problem is the sharpest line in there — that distinction actually explains why therapy and books alone couldn't fix it, since permission isn't something you think your way into. Carried with care!
The idea that freedom is partly the ability to let people dislike you without immediately making it our job to change their minds? Whew. I love it!
I think so many of us have spent years monitoring how we’re landing with everyone else instead of asking whether we’re actually being honest with ourselves. What an exhausting full-time job. 😂
And yes…perhaps being “full of ourselves” isn’t such a terrible thing after all. Full of ideas, opinions, quirks, passion, love, mistakes, wisdom, and LIFE? I’ll take that ANY day. ❤️
“Yeah. I am. Thanks for noticing.” 😂👏
Thanks Deanne for reading and for taking rhe time to share your feedback. I appreciate you 🙏
Deane, your move from monitoring how we land to asking whether we are honest with ourselves shifts the center of authority back where Annie is placing it. When other people’s reactions become the measure, self-editing can quietly become a way of life; honesty gives the fuller self room to speak again. I love how you carried her reclamation forward too, filling “full of ourselves” with ideas, quirks, passion, wisdom, and life. Grateful for the way you extended Annie’s freedom into a question of whose approval gets to govern how fully we show up.
Agreed… so well put.
Love the rawness of this piece Annie! My fav lines "BUT then it dawned on me: someone thinking I’m too much may have absolutely NOTHING to do with me." A big hell yes to that!! It's so empowering when you flip the script and look at it from a different perspective. 99% of the time someone's response is has more to do with them than it does about you, but making it about you enables them to not look at themselves.
Cherie, your point about making someone else’s reaction about ourselves adds an important consequence to Annie’s reflection: self-blame can quietly absorb accountability that belongs elsewhere. When we rush to edit ourselves around another person’s discomfort, they may never have to examine the expectations, fears, or assumptions shaping their response. That makes Annie’s freedom especially consequential; she is reclaiming the right to let other people carry their own interior work. Grateful for the way you extended her insight from self-acceptance into the responsibility each person has for examining their own reactions.
Thank you @Rev. Kevin T. Taylor I think that’s the part we often miss, when we take responsibility for someone else’s reaction, we can unintentionally let them off the hook. There’s something very freeing about knowing what is yours to carry and what absolutely isn’t.
Cherie, that boundary of responsibility is where Annie’s reflection becomes especially freeing. Knowing which reactions belong to us and which belong to the other person allows self-examination without turning every discomfort into an instruction to shrink. Your response gives Annie’s piece a practical consequence: clarity about what we carry protects both accountability and self-respect. Grateful for the way you named the freedom inside that separation.
Thanks, I appreciate you. 🙏
Thank you for the conversation, I appreciate the value and thoughts you have shared. It has expanded my thinking too.
Thank you for reading. I appreciate you. 🙏
Annie, “I was short of permission” gives this reflection its deepest charge. The exhausting part was the constant negotiation with other people’s comfort, especially when their reactions became something you felt responsible for managing. Reclaiming “full of myself” then becomes beautifully literal: full of opinions, desire, humour, lessons, ambition, and a self you are finally willing to occupy completely. Grateful for the clarity and fire you brought to the freedom of having your own back.
The answer to "You're full of yourself" or "You're too much" or similar insults is:
"Actually I'm intelligent, articulate and charismatic but thanks for noticing."
That's got real energy to it — the reframe of "full of myself" from insult to fact is a satisfying turn, especially landing on "full of things I want to do and see, mistakes I've survived, wisdom I've collected." The insight that it was never a confidence problem but a permission problem is the sharpest line in there — that distinction actually explains why therapy and books alone couldn't fix it, since permission isn't something you think your way into. Carried with care!