Stop Shrinking Yourself in Love…💛
The place you edit yourself the most is in your relationships.
I talk a lot here about shrinking to fit into spaces that are too small for you.
But honestly? Most people shrink the most when they’re dating, when they’re in relationships, when they’re in love.
Things aren’t working out, and you start trying to work out what you’re doing wrong.
💛Your anxious side starts doubting your worth.
💛You analyse his behaviour. Every text. Every delay. Every tiny shift in energy.
💛You ignore your gut because you want the fantasy more than the truth.
💛You tolerate inconsistency and call it “mixed signals.”
💛You explain your needs to a man who has already shown you he has no intention of meeting them.
💛You confuse emotional chaos with chemistry.
As a recovered avoidant, I’ve been on both sides. So yeah, I really get it.
You start believing love is something you have to earn.
So you over-give. Over-explain. Over-function.
You teach him how little he needs to give in order to keep access to you.
And trust me… he’s taking notes.
After a while, you call it “bad luck.”
But here’s the truth:
It’s not bad luck.
It’s a pattern.
Untreated patterns are a disaster.
I get it.
And the deeper issue usually isn’t the person you chose.
It’s the part of you that still believes you have to abandon yourself just to be loved.
We’re handed nervous system charts, coping strategies, hacks. Told to meditate, journal, reparent ourselves, work with our shadow parts, practise mindfulness, set boundaries.
But the pattern is the point.
And patterns can change.
For decades, through my books, hypnotherapy, healing work, EFT, coaching and writing, I’ve helped thousands of women heal these core wounds, become more secure within themselves, stop settling for crumbs, and finally attract healthy, loving relationships that feel safe, mutual and emotionally available.
You do not need to keep abandoning yourself just to be chosen.
And because this work deserves its own raw, honest space, I’ve created a sister publication Annie Get UNSHRUNK in love
👉if you enjoyed reading this, share it with friends!
